A broken girl in the rain.

I've often watched such scenes before but they never struck a chord until this little experience. Just her physical appearance in the blurry distance somehow showed that deep emotional pain.

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Dunno why.but have a lot of thoughts and feel like writing. Probably because I'm on a bus.

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I just remembered a rather strange and poetic scene from GW.

I had been working late in Tompkins (the engineering building) and came out pretty late. It was raining heavily. 

I did my usual survey of the world. Feeling a familiar connection with the time of night and empty surroundings. On the corner, by the intersection, Just slightly outside the halo of a street lamp, stood a girl. Alone. In the rain. Crying. 

My memory is vague on this point but I think she didn't have any cover - neither jacket nor umbrella. Drenched and sobbing. 

My first instinct was to go over there and offer comfort. But I was ill equipped. I was wearing a non-shareable jacket, and was not carrying a shareable umbrella. 

Not to mention, I didn't know the story. Was an unkempt, hooded young man walking out of the shadows in an empty street at 4 am going to help? 

Perhaps not.... 

Probably not... 

...it would only aggravate things. 

So, I called up the University police department and told them the situation. I politely suggested that they send over a female officer. 

I stuck around at a distance, hidden, and impotently waited for UPD to show up. They did and I left. I hope she was okay.

It was a strange and poetic situation. While she stood there freezing and broken, I felt defeated. Because despite my instinctual yearning, I was unable to provide warmth to another person so deeply in need of it. 

The whole situation kinda broke my heart.

TEDxGWU

Hurray!!!!!

My friends and I secured a license for the INAUGURAL TEDxGWU event this fall!

Very excited!

Light?

So, me and the sand man are not good friends. In fact, he never seems to be on time: almost 9-12 hours late on average. I've fought with him and tried to get him to listen, some days he does, but it's always the struggle.

My personal theory is that I descend from a clan of night-watcher ninjas. "We protect the night!"

OK. Time to be serious.

I have a sleep/wake disorder by the name of Delayed Sleep Phase Syndrome [DSPS]. I got this diagnosis after a year of almost [emphasis is on ALMOST] sleep-failing through classes. It essentially means that your internal clock (or circadian rhythm) is out of whack and there is no quick-fix. Seriously, even sleeping pills don't work after a while...

What does work, is a long treatment with light therapy and melatonin supplements; these are used to nudge your stubborn brain towards a more suitable sleeping pattern. (For the record, it is 5AM and I am completely awake...no quick-fixes here)

The light therapy involves a lamp box, that I affectionately call "Lucifer's Light", and is meant to be used regularly every morning. It is effective and I have seen results, so I am thankful for it.

What is really cool is that light therapy may also help with depression.

So, I have a double whammy motivation to be more diligent.

not to be forgotten: HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

Spoken word poetry

I really enjoyed this. I hope you will too:

Anis Mojgani performs Shake the Dust at HEAVY AND LIGHT.

The World is amazing

 [A nice short post] Thoughts on happiness. I refer to happiness in the general sense. For some people, this can mean being content or satisfied.

Simply put, the world is just awesome [I think that Discovery channel has been using this as a slogan]. It is easy to forget this and become complacent. I try to pay attention when I can and revel in the elegance of all that surrounds us.

For example: When I sit in an aircraft, every single time - I look at the wings, these perfectly shaped piece of metal and I am fascinated: a protrusion of the right dimensions can lift us off the ground and we can take flight... how astouding it is that someone figured this out... how much more can we figure out? about everything...

Then I think of birds and I think of nature and just how much more efficient things are in the natural world... and I realise there is so much more cool stuff we have yet to figure out. That makes me really happy. I am in in awe of what exists now and look forward to remaining as such for the rest of my lifetime.

Check this vid out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8r1CZTLk-Gk

Positive posts - lack thereof

A good friend of mine pointed out that there aren't many 'positive' or 'feel-good' posts on this blog so far. I agree - expect one soon.

Scary facts, stigmas and societal health

[ Initiate rambling :P ]
One of my frequent ponderings is on the subject of mental and societal health [I believe that they go hand-in-hand]. I'm hardly an expert or very well read on the subject, but I do try to follow the current events pertaining to it. Of course, this is something I have personally struggled with and something a lot of people I know have struggled with - it is a reality I must confront.

There is little doubt, mental illness is definitely a problem. here are some details from the WHO website: [N.B: DALYs = Disability Adjusted Life Year = The sum of years of potential life lost due to premature mortality and the years of productive life lost due to disability.]

Depression is the leading cause of disability as measured by YLDs and the 4th  leading contributor to the global burden of disease (DALYs) in 2000. By the year 2020, depression is projected to reach 2nd place of the ranking of DALYs calcuated for all ages, both sexes. Today, depression is already the 2nd cause of DALYs in the age category 15-44 years for both sexes combined.
Depression occurs in persons of all genders, ages, and backgrounds.

Facts

• Depression is common, affecting about 121 million people worldwide.
• Depression is among the leading causes of disability worldwide.
• Depression can be reliably diagnosed and treated in primary care.
• Fewer than 25 % of those affected have access to effective treatments.

So, we're seeing huge costs because of mental illness in the world and it's expected to get worse. However, there is still a stifling stigma that surrounds it. I have read many articles that describe this as a 'barrier to treatment' for things as diverse as alcoholism to general anxiety disorders, I find these disturbing, but the fact that 'fewer than 25% of those suffering from depression have access to treatment' is just scary - this is a curable disease and we are in the midst of an 'epidemic'. Something has to be done, depression is arguably a contagious condition and it severely impacts society's progress [This applies across the spectrum: a scientist curing cancer and a farmer growing crops can both be equally impaired by depression. (check out Dr. Sherwin Nuland's experience)]

As is often the case, science is trying to catch up. We still don't know the exact cause of depression and it's a tricky issue. In my opinion, one of the major factors for my generation is the all-or-nothing mentality that accompanies academics [see: cognitive distortions]. From a young age, we learn that we must be better than everyone to succeed - we must compete, we must win, only those at the top matter, go big or go home, etc, etc, etc....

Our happiness and fulfillment in life fall to the bottom of the priority list. Education has lost its' holistic approach to personal growth and society has followed suit. [I acknowledge that this is a very generalised statement, however the presence of 'grade inflation' and increasing mental illness in my age bracket lead me to believe that it is a valid point for a significant demographic]

Personally, I think one of the first steps we need to take is to adopt a more holistic philosophy of success. It isn't possible for all of us to be on the far end of the bell-curve, it is an unrealistic and unhealthy expectation. We need to start valuing happiness and mental health more - I argue that a happier society will also be more productive and innovative. [Check out a TED talk on A kinder, gentler philosophy of success]

Thanks for reading.
Cheers!